Head over Heels

Oh I fancy you

My ASICS  shoes

Yo so sweet treat  

For weary runners feet

 

Purple pink design

With those flashy lines

I run a little quicker

As you are so agile

My buddy ASICS shoe

Me stronger each step with U

Safe secure yo steel

For U,  me head over heels 

Praj101

Me the boss

Sit down,Get up

I am the boss, Listen up

Hey kiddos- follow rules

If you don’t- I loose my cool

All day long - so much to do

I feel overwhelmed and I fume

Yet want to show -everything is in control

So behave you kids or I will roar

No time for my own mind or health 

Nor I ask for extra help

Me that striving codependent 

Taking charge of everything and everyone 

When kids listen and look at me

Will they learn my strategy 

Don’t take a breather- be bossy

Will they grow up just like me

 

Me and my controlling stride

Shaming and blaming when I provide

Not happy, not healthy - empty inside 

Me the boss of my fragile pride

Praj101

Not just a phrase...

Sitting on my chair

thinking last night

Judgement and criticism

weighing me down tight

Maybe I won't anymore

Beg for whats mine

I want to care for others

Yet keeping self in mind

Sorry can't change others

those strings- I don't hold 

Yet my own change is upon me

A perspective- that's little bold

I deserve care and peace

I deserve that from me

"I love myself "-it's not just a phrase

It's that happiness key

praj101

Thanks but no Thanks!

You girls left me standing

So alone and I wondered Why

Was I not worth your friendship

So you left me empty to cry

Neither was I  some popular kid

Nor was I super smart or funny

All I was- was a little shy girl

Waiting for a true friend to hold my hand

It's me that naive whom you bullied 

Vulnerable surrounded by onlookers laughing

Turned into a mature woman now

Still soft inside- compassionate and smiling

Now as those scary days are over  

Can I ask you by gathering some calm

Were you the ones not secured inside

or never had your parent's attention or warmth

My heart forgives you as I understand

Its you who needed help not me my friends

Will hold your hand - won't hold your gaze

Yet Thanks but no Thanks for those gloomy days

praj101

My bling ⌚️

Sleek on my wrist

Buzzing with three rings

Exercise, move, stand

What a hoot this thing

Sweet Apple baby

Shines with a gist

all day long Y’all

Swinging on my wrist

Beep for my steps

Beep yup goals met

Tracking my workouts

You charming  mini- mate

Oh Apple baby

My sweet little zing

You keep me on my toes

With those gorgeous rings

Praj101

 

Suicide from stuff

Today I woke up and heard news about famous Bollywood actor's suicide. He was successful, handsome, calm , kind and in every way looked happy with his life. Outer appearance is so deceiving . Who knew what that guy was experiencing behind his happy smile. I am unaware behind the reason for his suicide and wish him RIP. The reason I am writing this Blog is not to speculate why he or lots of others died as everyone's story is different and its not my place to judge and speculate. Yet I do wish so badly that hopefully its not lack of money and therefore lifestyle for any one of them. However, due to this covid 19 situation it feels inevitable to think in that direction. 

Here in this blog all I want to do is to suggest an easy yet , I feel effective way that we can do to avoid downward spiral related to sudden  materialistic deprivation. 

My solution is 'fasting', taking break from stuff.  Just like we do it with food, we can do it with everything that we deem necessary. I know so many of my friends are into clothes, jewelry, makeup and shoes. So my suggestion is not to get rid of any of those desires yet just to take a break from them occasionally. We can decide for ourselves or declare to our friends and family what we want to take a break from. Small or big- for a day or for a week.- its upon us what we want to achieve. 

Here are few examples-

1. a break from shopping for one whole year. Lets say this year I am going to use all what I have in terms of clothes, shoes etc.

2.  a break from eating outside

3.  a break from going to big vacations for a year or two

4. a break from partying

5. toughest one would be taking a break from social media and all cool gadgets. I have done that for a week before in the past. 

Here are some other suggestions

1. a break from applying makeup. Go natural.

2. a break from talking

3. fasting is best for health anyways... yet you can challenge it a step further. Take a break from e.g. eating your most favorite food- in my case that would be dark chocolate.

You may think that it will be very hard. or Boring. Or why we need to do all that. Well,  I believe it improves our minds tenacity. This whole fasting from things can be super empowering. It shows you your mental capacity and you know you are not getting yanked by your mind and emotions . You are in charge of them.

Our emotions should not define us and attachment is just an emotion that binds us down. The freedom from stuff is awesome. You can even brag about it... I do as a striving minimalist.  

Another benefit of Minimalism even a small version of it is saving money as money doesn't lie. Especially with financially hard hit times like these having a habit of "saving" comes in handy. Environmental benefits of owning less stuff -even for an year are tremendous and now its for our own benefit. A big win-win. 

In this new materialistic era: "One can always live in castle without difficulty , it's living in the hut that needs a practice". Stay small or go big- the question is can we still be content?

Discussing with kids and asking them for suggestions is a good way to involve them as well.  Ask kids indirectly if we loose money what are fun ways that we can compensate. If our kids are on anxious side then maybe asking directly is not a good idea. Yet we can rephrase it. Make it a game. Asking kids what five things that they can donate even if they like those things.. Its not that that they have to give things away actually. It's just preparing them with different difficult situations just like we prepare them with fire drills.  Isn't teaching kids about savings, simple living and being resilient is one of the best lessons that we can impart in them as a parent.  

In Buddhist philosophy, Buddha do emphasize detachment, even some scriptures emphasize visualizing our own death. It is worth contemplating what we will do if we lose our job, our stuff , our love interest, our friends and the hardest- our family. What if we loose use of some or all parts of our body due to accident, stroke or any other ill fate. Albeit at that time we still have to go through grief and it will be wise to seek family , friends and mental health professionals to process the grief. Yet its wise to think ahead and have some game plan. It surprises me that people don't even make their ' health and estate will'  especially when they have children.  

When we are not attach- a whole new peace comes to us. Fasting gives us opportunity to evaluate our own mind's state. With  it we can realize that "happiness and materialistic satisfaction" in life is overrated. There are interesting feelings like " struggle, sadness, emptiness " that can be overcome with some metal  restraining practice. If these small amount of "brakes" makes us uncomfortable then that's expected, we may even fail again and again. Yet as long as we show resilience that's good.  However, if these breaks make us depress, anxious or lives us incapable- then that can be a warning sign. Then its time to seek answers- from professionals. 

praj101

My Sheldon

I remember those worried times

Blaming my fate 

Did I do something wrong

Or is it some genetic trait

Looking at your averted gaze 

Trying to make our eyes meet

Searching for so many answers 

Questioning if it’s all too late

Clapping and running  in circles 

You Jumped in bed for hours

It was a challenge for you to speak 

And to make friends like others

I tried to make you average 

To fill my own insecure void

Who knew you are exceptional

It’s just you take a different stride

You look at things with curiosity 

Like a rainbow on a blank slate

You speak honestly always

Which is a very rare trait

You are that kindest being

So intelligent for your age 

You live with bigger vision 

Showing grit at every stage

I know it will be tough

Yet, you are resilient- I know that 

My very own sweet “ Sheldon”

The best friend that I have

Praj101

Rainfall

My heart skips a beat in pain

As the unrelenting rain splatter

Black clouds gather in the sky

Crying yes, yes we do matter

It’s a mix of sorrow and faith

A step forward with every sight

Drenched kids jump in the puddle

Holding umbrellas of hope tight

These are not the protests of fury

Though the pouring rain swallows us all

These are marching drops of freedom

Waiting for sunshine after rainfall

Praj101

Neighbor’s boy

In 1989 Summer break
Away from cities hubbub
I visited my aunt
In green lush Kokan land

Her home was a cozy nest
With greens all around us
And a sweet little bungalow next door
With a little boy sitting on the porch

Boy looked pale yet so light
With a look of surprise on his face
When I wave him to say  “hello”
He was not sure if he should do the same

A few days passed and saw him again
Sitting on steps waiting for someone
I said as a friend what he is up to
And he said he wish  his mother would come home

I feel a tinge of sorrow in his eyes
And a cold wind gush on my face
I went to my aunt and told her what happened
And she stood up with a very blank face

She told me her neighbors met a tragedy
Last year they lost someone dear
They moved somewhere else to hide from their sorrow
What a terrible thing for someone to bear

I said with sadness he must have lost his mom
But Aunt said -no you got it all wrong
The boy that you met and said hi my dear
It’s that boy who is no more - he is long gone

Praj101