It's breathing

My house is breathing. Everything in it is breathing. Some of it is happy, some tired and some dissatisfied.  I hear it- I see it- I feel it.
I woke up in the morning. Folded my sheets. Slide my hand on the bed. I said," You gave me good night sleep. I rested peacefully. Thank You!" I wore my navy blue scrubs, wore my shoes, took my purse and drove to work. I looked at them. I love my shoes. They protect my feet. I am standing all day long. But they never complain. They seem happy. My scrubs have pockets. My daily patients list, pen , gloves everything nicely tucked in. They are like my extra two hands. My phone ringed. I used my phone so much. To check whats app, to check messages, to call , to talk, to browse Internet. Coming back from work I feel tired. I wondered how all my belongings feel. I put them away. They must be tired too.  I touched them and said “ Thanks You!”.
 I was looking around in my house. Today , two years after buying home, for the very first time I was purposefully looking at everything I owned. Marie Kondo said in her book that appreciate everything you have. Say, Thank you!  First it sounded "sugary". A kind of things hippies will do. But then thinking back I never took time to express my appreciation. I felt sheepish.  Its not that I never appreciate what I had. I did.  But I never did it intentionally. It was superficial.
Today I decided to take time to look around. Touch everything that belongs to me.  I felt everything that I owned is looking back at me. I think they have their own opinions, own feelings. Do they judge me?  Am I being good to them? After all I own them. They are mine.   I stood in front of them. Asked them how they feel. Things that I love, that are used regularly, were happy. Satisfied. They felt their purpose is served. Clothes, kitchen utensils, bathroom accessories- everything that gets used were content. I Thanked them.  There were few of those things who had some flair. They were poised elegantly as if they knew they were reserved for very special occasions- those  Saree's , Crockery sets etc. I thought they were in good mood.  I felt my indoor plants were sitting in peace next to Buddha statue. I felt calm. I felt positive energy.
Then I went to book shelves. I have de cluttered /donated few books before. First I kind of felt good about myself. I thought all these remaining ones add value.  But I think some of those books were raising their eyebrows. "Be honest to yourself dear", they were saying. "You are holding us back. You haven't touch us for long and most of us you already read. Can you please pass us along. We want to be useful. We don't belong in shelves. We belong in hands. Give us to Library". I bit my lips feeling gulity.
I went through my closet. I have so many clothes . I have done lot of decluttering before. Do all the remaining clothes bring Joy? Marie Kondo said , hold them- feel them. If they bring joy then keep them. I did the same. There were few withered clothes. I have used them a lot. They were telling me that its time for them to retire. "Recycle us. We need to go back to earth". I got a bag and put them in it- saying "Thank You". I looked at some other clothes. I hardly used them.  Some even had their tags on. Some were tight, some were loose and some were just not my type. But all of them appeared sad.  I said, "Sorry". They said, "give us away. Someone else can use us. We are just sitting. Don't keep us hanging". “Honestly it is just so hard to let go”, I said. They gave me an assuring look. “Knowing is first step.  You will get there”.   "Thank You for being patient” I said with a smile.
 I know I am trying my best.  But when I tried to feel them  - they became alive- something shifted inside  me. They are not just things any more. I feel an urge to treat them with love and respect. I think they love me back. Remember " Toy Story " movie. Just like those toys, I think,  everything around us breaths in their own "not with oxygen” way. Science hasn’t understood it yet- but I feel it. Pay attention and you will feel it too.  Us and Them - all made with atoms and molecules- all connected  with energy.  Now, when I enter my home and look around, I get a vibe. Even if home is superficially clean, with cluttered closets, I feel the noise. The discontent. I think everything needs its proper place to rest - to revive - ready to be used again. Just like us. To bring Peace - To bring Joy. To breath better. Do you hear it? It’s breathing. - praj101