Suicide from stuff

Today I woke up and heard news about famous Bollywood actor's suicide. He was successful, handsome, calm , kind and in every way looked happy with his life. Outer appearance is so deceiving . Who knew what that guy was experiencing behind his happy smile. I am unaware behind the reason for his suicide and wish him RIP. The reason I am writing this Blog is not to speculate why he or lots of others died as everyone's story is different and its not my place to judge and speculate. Yet I do wish so badly that hopefully its not lack of money and therefore lifestyle for any one of them. However, due to this covid 19 situation it feels inevitable to think in that direction. 

Here in this blog all I want to do is to suggest an easy yet , I feel effective way that we can do to avoid downward spiral related to sudden  materialistic deprivation. 

My solution is 'fasting', taking break from stuff.  Just like we do it with food, we can do it with everything that we deem necessary. I know so many of my friends are into clothes, jewelry, makeup and shoes. So my suggestion is not to get rid of any of those desires yet just to take a break from them occasionally. We can decide for ourselves or declare to our friends and family what we want to take a break from. Small or big- for a day or for a week.- its upon us what we want to achieve. 

Here are few examples-

1. a break from shopping for one whole year. Lets say this year I am going to use all what I have in terms of clothes, shoes etc.

2.  a break from eating outside

3.  a break from going to big vacations for a year or two

4. a break from partying

5. toughest one would be taking a break from social media and all cool gadgets. I have done that for a week before in the past. 

Here are some other suggestions

1. a break from applying makeup. Go natural.

2. a break from talking

3. fasting is best for health anyways... yet you can challenge it a step further. Take a break from e.g. eating your most favorite food- in my case that would be dark chocolate.

You may think that it will be very hard. or Boring. Or why we need to do all that. Well,  I believe it improves our minds tenacity. This whole fasting from things can be super empowering. It shows you your mental capacity and you know you are not getting yanked by your mind and emotions . You are in charge of them.

Our emotions should not define us and attachment is just an emotion that binds us down. The freedom from stuff is awesome. You can even brag about it... I do as a striving minimalist.  

Another benefit of Minimalism even a small version of it is saving money as money doesn't lie. Especially with financially hard hit times like these having a habit of "saving" comes in handy. Environmental benefits of owning less stuff -even for an year are tremendous and now its for our own benefit. A big win-win. 

In this new materialistic era: "One can always live in castle without difficulty , it's living in the hut that needs a practice". Stay small or go big- the question is can we still be content?

Discussing with kids and asking them for suggestions is a good way to involve them as well.  Ask kids indirectly if we loose money what are fun ways that we can compensate. If our kids are on anxious side then maybe asking directly is not a good idea. Yet we can rephrase it. Make it a game. Asking kids what five things that they can donate even if they like those things.. Its not that that they have to give things away actually. It's just preparing them with different difficult situations just like we prepare them with fire drills.  Isn't teaching kids about savings, simple living and being resilient is one of the best lessons that we can impart in them as a parent.  

In Buddhist philosophy, Buddha do emphasize detachment, even some scriptures emphasize visualizing our own death. It is worth contemplating what we will do if we lose our job, our stuff , our love interest, our friends and the hardest- our family. What if we loose use of some or all parts of our body due to accident, stroke or any other ill fate. Albeit at that time we still have to go through grief and it will be wise to seek family , friends and mental health professionals to process the grief. Yet its wise to think ahead and have some game plan. It surprises me that people don't even make their ' health and estate will'  especially when they have children.  

When we are not attach- a whole new peace comes to us. Fasting gives us opportunity to evaluate our own mind's state. With  it we can realize that "happiness and materialistic satisfaction" in life is overrated. There are interesting feelings like " struggle, sadness, emptiness " that can be overcome with some metal  restraining practice. If these small amount of "brakes" makes us uncomfortable then that's expected, we may even fail again and again. Yet as long as we show resilience that's good.  However, if these breaks make us depress, anxious or lives us incapable- then that can be a warning sign. Then its time to seek answers- from professionals. 

praj101