Why I want to form a habit of writing

I  have to write atleast 50 words for next 30 days . I want to cultivate lifelong habit of writing . Why? The answer is complicated. I am reaching 40 and lived straightforward life. Studied when I was suppose to study, got married when time was right etc. you get the picture. Days just come and go. It’s not like I had made no resolutions. It’s not like I am regretting my life choices or atleast most of my life choices . The problem is that all my life is stored in my memories. Their is no recount about how exactly I felt about particular topic . Did I changed my viewpoint on something and why did I change it. Why did I acted the way I did( sometimes even obnoxiously) . Did I do something good in life that I will be extremely proud of? What were funny memories? I have some clue but it’s not crystal clear. It’s not documented. Someone will say “who cares.. you are not that imp.". Not for you maybe . And that’s OK.
Here are two main reasons why I want to write. First is to store all my life experience for my future generations. I don’t know if they would really care. But I do care for them and therefore I will do my part.  I work with lot of dementia patients and unfortunately some of them don’t even remember their kids names. The whole life experience gone with the time. I bet our ancestors must have learned lot from their lives but only few left behind the memorabilia for their kids and future generations. I want my kids to know how I feel about certain things may that be related to home, work, social issue  or politics. I want them to know what I found hilarious and what broke my heart. That is all “ me me me part” obviously. But still that’s my inheritance to them.But there is another and more important reason for me to cultivate this writing habit. Why? I want to reflect. No reflection.. no awareness. Atleast that’s what Buddha said. Literally , days come and go. I make some schedule for the day in my planners mind, and day just plays out sometimes as and sometimes off schedule. It’s like a bad love affair with time. No time to reflect on actions . Therefore no time to improve on them. I think reflection can teach me how I could act better next time in the same situation. How honestly I feel about something and can I stand up for things that I care. Do I have correct beliefs?  Do they need to be changed? It will be great to explore my mind. I have realized that I don’t want to waste all my time watching someone else’s life on TV or  judging others while my own life is playing out in front of me like an awesome movie. I want to be action hero of my movie playing my part with total conscience. Doesn’t matter if movie is comedy, tragedy , sentimental or thriller,  I want to be in it. Writing will be my tool to reflect. That's why I want to write. - praj101