I remember I was not like this before getting married at all. My mom being awesome mom used to handle things effortlessly. Actually she never ever acted the way I act.... so its definitely not genes. May be in the beginning of our marriage I was still in learning phase of cooking/organizing . I may have felt little anxious when I used to invite guest. I always wanted to present myself in "good light" and I always wanted guests to have wonderful experience. But my party preparation skills were novice . I think this is when I built these worry habits that are totally unwarranted and actually counterproductive.
Its not that I have not taken any steps. I think I have become more resourceful in recent years. I call cleaning lady and schedule my parties accordingly. So most cleaning part is done. Not having many things and reducing clutter has helped me greatly. Now here is one thing that saves time but don't give me joy. I try to circulate my menu so that I don't have to mess things up by learning new recipe. Cooking same things again and again is such a creativity killer. Need to change this part even if its easy.
As per short term planning may be sorting out menu and bringing everything 2-3 days in advance is good strategy. Also, playing nice music and changing my body language while cooking and cleaning will put me in different mindset. Playing music, dancing on beats and cooking just like in movies,,, ahhha.
I think some long term everyday changes will be of great help. My default should be keeping house clean everyday( not perfect but nice, clean and tidy). Teaching kids their cleaning responsibilities in more creative way instead of shallow warnings like all the toys on the floor will go to "Goodwill" would be better. I like organizing now( a good change since past) and including kids and husband in home organization projects may be a good family time together.
I think biggest change that needs to come is psychological. Knowing that I go in this crazy mode will likely make me aware of it beforehand. Knowing is winning half the battle( as long as I act for change). Maybe having a go to "code" such as "tree" that my husband and kids can remind me of in such situations will be of great help. ( FYI: Using Code "relax" when I am stressed- bad idea). Focusing on enjoying the party preparation than outcome itself - that is staying in the moment -will definitely be a game changer.
I don't think taking things easy and being OK with mess is going to work for me. That may have worked in the past but now it is going to be hard to break habit that I have developed so diligently. Instead building good work ethics at home and not shying away from hard work will be better. I really enjoy presenting myself as a good housekeeper . This is something that I cherish. I kind of get to work on my art side with it. I just want to change my "not so good" behavior to get to the outcome. Goal here is to change the journey and not outcome. Change takes time and diligence . Some of these solution may not even work but I will never know until I try. At least now I have my go-to tools ready in toolbox to avoid pre-party anxiety. Did someone said "Guests are coming"? - praj101
I don't think taking things easy and being OK with mess is going to work for me. That may have worked in the past but now it is going to be hard to break habit that I have developed so diligently. Instead building good work ethics at home and not shying away from hard work will be better. I really enjoy presenting myself as a good housekeeper . This is something that I cherish. I kind of get to work on my art side with it. I just want to change my "not so good" behavior to get to the outcome. Goal here is to change the journey and not outcome. Change takes time and diligence . Some of these solution may not even work but I will never know until I try. At least now I have my go-to tools ready in toolbox to avoid pre-party anxiety. Did someone said "Guests are coming"? - praj101
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