Hi Honey, ,
This is a blog specially written to convince you something that I want. Maybe as a gift. Not a diamond ring - I don’t care for it much. There is another way you can pamper me though. Can you please get me solar panels. I heard about these solar energy subsidies in NC and associated advantages . I am not going to get into calculations about what will be it’s installation fee and how much we have to spend. That’s where I have you. Here is what I think.
1. What if we get these solar energy panels on top of our house roof. And then approximately in next three to four years our installation cost will be recovered. I understand that not all days are sunny days but I want to be little more optimistic here. Meanwhile , if we produce enough energy, we can even sell it back to energy provider and may get some added benefits. Will check with my friends who are already on this path and can ask for their experience.
2. As we are recovering energy cost and possibly reducing carbon footprint - in next few years- as electric car technology gets more advance - we can buy a new hybrid car or total electric car for me. With not an expensive label like Tesla of course. I bet even Honda’s and Toyota’s will have their affordable yet awesome versions. Now , with those solar panels producing all that electric energy - my car will be charged for free at home. No expense of gas and no carbon footprint. You may like one of these too.
3. Also, how about one more thing to add in this green agenda. Planting lot of trees around home- maybe one tree each year. If things do get crowded around home due to outdoor trees then we can get HOA permission to plant maybe even one tree per year around community. I love evergreens- Magnolia being my favorite. Really any tree can enhance the beauty and serenity of surroundings.I know we have lot of indoor plants already and it just feels good. Actually, I am writing this blog sitting next to them. How about we can add one indoor plant each year too. A little indoor plant nursery. The microbiome of soil and plant itself can counteract allergen and gives us fresh dose of O2 while filtering all the hazardous chemicals . NASA has already done a generous research on it. Some of these indoor plants even emit O2 at night. No wonder our home has a fresh feel.
4. I am already working on minimalism- reducing material clutter that adds so much pollution inside home. Less is better. Also keeping only those things that give “Joy”and plants do give a whole lot of that- do align with my minimalist world.
I know you would say I can do all that and I don’t really need your permission per say. Still, It will be nice to have your backing -we can do this as family. Involving kids of course. I feel just recycling and turning off lights even if important may not be enough. We have knowledge and resources to make a change. A small change that can have big impact. How about involve friends and family too. Maybe even have a “healthy green competition” between friends and earn bragging rights- for right reason.
Well just an idea. What do you think?
Here is my Dream - achievable one- let’s start with carbon negative home, then community and then possibly town and who knows maybe one day- even whole country- just like Bhutan. Now that is something to live for.
As always love you
Praj101
Tuesday, May 14, 2019
Saturday, May 11, 2019
Colors
Bring up your colors bright and mellow
Blue , green , purple and sunshine yellow
A restless unease- a rumbling restive
Or a happy, colorful and joyous festive
Golden and silver with Glamours rich
Or luscious, harmonious shades of green
Red - fiercely assertive or a hint of anger
Or show off that playful- optimistic amber
Bring up the blue with sky full of wisdom
Royal purple with a conquering mission
Comforting orange brings a basket of warmth
Or mysterious black with plans of storm
Mix up the energies - a rainbow slide
Vibrant , merry, sad and a crazy unleashed wild
Find a perfect middle- a pure , peaceful white
Simplest of all like a Buddha’s smile
Praj101
Wednesday, May 8, 2019
Dog ownership and curious me
If you would have asked me couple of years back if I will ever own a dog , my response would have been an emphatic “ no- never”. Frankly, my connection with dogs as a child was limited to cute puppy pictures on the posters. If anything - I was scared of dogs. The equation was simple. Dogs are animals with teeth like spikes and they bite. Therefore, owning a dog was never ever on the radar. Besides no one in my family and in my friend circle owned a dog. Nobody even talked about owning a dog. Well that was then. Now, in this new environment, I am surrounded by dog owners and there non stop chatter about dogs , puppies cuteness, dogs unconditional love which is apparently hard to resist. Of course they are not telling me to buy a dog. Actually they say it’s a lot of work especially in the puppy days. After having kids, I for once refused to stay in any dreamworld about cuteness. Cuteness and work are on equal footage when it comes to babies- human or otherwise. So yes, I am aware of facts about owning a dog and work associated with it. It’s just the way these friends talk about their dogs- sometimes for hours. They have all their doggy pictures on their phones. These people smile a little more, always feel relaxed and always feel connected when they are talking about their dogs. The kids, of course adore dogs and kiss them and hug them. But these full grown adults - they literally do the same. So there is that. A FOMO moment. Am I missing something very special? Am I depriving my kids or even me from this worldly happiness? Literally if you are with these dog owners you feel left out.
Also the curiosity towards dog ownership came because of my old geriatric patients well in their 80s and 90s. They have shared so many stories about their dogs. They smile brightly. They can talk about their pets for whole therapy session. Somehow, after talking to them, it feels like at the end of it the money, the job , the status in life doesn’t come up or matter so much. Relationships and pets make the top lists. Pets makes these old folks happy and content- wholehearted.
The other thing is the dog itself. Believe me, I am and always have been apprehensive of dogs. However, I have pretended sometimes that I am OK with and around dogs. So I started to talk to these dogs and their owners in the pretend friendly way.. from a safe distance. And it was like an adventure honestly. And it still is. Hello doggy, a little woof. Then to owner, what’s his name? What breed? The common questions usually emerged to carry on a friendly conversation. And then somehow I ended up looking into their dogs twinkling eyes and wagging tail and friendliness and cuteness and I just couldn’t help but ended up liking this sweet creation. This dog creature , apparently is happy with me for no valid reason. He is happy with me just being there. Who does that? And I have seen these dogs jump with excitement and wiggle their tails when they see their owners. I feel jealous. No one is that excited to see me maybe except my kids.
And these dogs especially my own favorite breed golden retriever and labs are truly adorable just to look at. They are super cute. Super family friendly. My limited observation tells me that there are lot of pros for dog ownership. I feel my kids can have a family member to play with, my kids can learn responsibility of taking care of their pet, enjoy an active lifestyle outdoors and also have someone nearby who will look after their safety and safety of our house. I have even seen lot of adults with improved active outdoor time due to this cute and cuddly creature. Of course there are questions involved like how to manage time , taking care of one extra family member, need of dog boarding for long trips , vet visits and extra expenses associated with dog ownership. However, after talking with so many dog owners it feels manageable. I think we earn to live life in a fulfilling way and dogs can be one of those pathways. I know everyone at home needs to be onboard with this crucial decision. . The one thing is for sure- The unconditional love and lots of fun that awaits with dog ownership looks undeniable. Well, I am in this curiosity phase to know more, to learn more about dogs. At the same time I know “ experience phase” would worth a lot more.
- praj101
Also the curiosity towards dog ownership came because of my old geriatric patients well in their 80s and 90s. They have shared so many stories about their dogs. They smile brightly. They can talk about their pets for whole therapy session. Somehow, after talking to them, it feels like at the end of it the money, the job , the status in life doesn’t come up or matter so much. Relationships and pets make the top lists. Pets makes these old folks happy and content- wholehearted.
The other thing is the dog itself. Believe me, I am and always have been apprehensive of dogs. However, I have pretended sometimes that I am OK with and around dogs. So I started to talk to these dogs and their owners in the pretend friendly way.. from a safe distance. And it was like an adventure honestly. And it still is. Hello doggy, a little woof. Then to owner, what’s his name? What breed? The common questions usually emerged to carry on a friendly conversation. And then somehow I ended up looking into their dogs twinkling eyes and wagging tail and friendliness and cuteness and I just couldn’t help but ended up liking this sweet creation. This dog creature , apparently is happy with me for no valid reason. He is happy with me just being there. Who does that? And I have seen these dogs jump with excitement and wiggle their tails when they see their owners. I feel jealous. No one is that excited to see me maybe except my kids.
And these dogs especially my own favorite breed golden retriever and labs are truly adorable just to look at. They are super cute. Super family friendly. My limited observation tells me that there are lot of pros for dog ownership. I feel my kids can have a family member to play with, my kids can learn responsibility of taking care of their pet, enjoy an active lifestyle outdoors and also have someone nearby who will look after their safety and safety of our house. I have even seen lot of adults with improved active outdoor time due to this cute and cuddly creature. Of course there are questions involved like how to manage time , taking care of one extra family member, need of dog boarding for long trips , vet visits and extra expenses associated with dog ownership. However, after talking with so many dog owners it feels manageable. I think we earn to live life in a fulfilling way and dogs can be one of those pathways. I know everyone at home needs to be onboard with this crucial decision. . The one thing is for sure- The unconditional love and lots of fun that awaits with dog ownership looks undeniable. Well, I am in this curiosity phase to know more, to learn more about dogs. At the same time I know “ experience phase” would worth a lot more.
- praj101
Monday, May 6, 2019
Jason
I started with my masters program in university of Iowa and got research assistantship in our biomechanics lab. It was my first year in US and being newly married I was enjoying all the perks at home as well. Life was overall great. My professor was a genuinely nice person with a perfect combo of intellect and humility. However, he was busy man with a lot of projects in his hands. He helped me when he was available for sure but things were not all that straightforward as per his time availability. That’s where you rely on your lab mates. Along with me there were three other students. Two girls and one boy- all of them doing their PhDs and already veterans in my lab when I started. In the beginning things were OK. I was taking help from girls as much as I can to understand the software, data collection and processing etc. Both of them were from India and I automatically felt comfortable connecting with them. However, within less than a month things started to fall apart.. Part , mind you major part , of the problem was from my side. I somehow had this timid shy personality that made it difficult for me to explain my needs clearly. Also, with school and research I was busy, I was not ready to put in extra work. I always wanted to run back home to my budding family life. Long story short, my two lab mates were not happy about my neediness or so I thought. They started to retrieve back from helping me and were holding back their feedback. They wanted me to put in my own efforts to find answers, for very right reasons. Well,. I was confused and apprehensive and somehow managed to tell myself that I am not getting help. In my mind I was a victim. I felt more withdrawn. However, I was lucky to have Jason- my third lab-mate.
Jason was probably taller than six feet. He was thin-clean looking- down to earth guy. I don’t remember Jason ever been shabby. He was always in formal attire and had professional attitude. He had very calm persona and he would always talk slowly in a contemplative voice. For first couple of weeks I kind of ignored him and he did the same I guess. The only time we used to share “ Hello , good morning” gestures were during our Friday morning lab meetings. His and my research projects were also different . So there was no connection per say. However, when my other two lab-mates abandoned me, metaphorically, the only person left behind for me ( apart from my professor) to ask for help was Jason.
I started asking help to Jason out of sheer desperation. Jason, can you teach me this part of software? Jason, what’s the next step in data analysis? Jason, can you give me feedback about my outcomes? Questions- so many questions.Thinking back- I was not all that appreciative from my side. Jason would be calmly working on his project and I would just drop my queries right in the middle of it. I was so obsessed with my project. Everyone else and everything else was a blur. Like a good friend, Jason helped. He always helped. He didn’t try to teach me anything more than I asked and he didn’t asked me to figure things out by myself.. He would assist and get back to his work. Jason, occasionally used to give me cues and I would write them down. This went on for atleast couple of months. As time went on , I got comfortable with my work and was able to finish my project and my research in time. Same year when he finished his PhD. He was there at very crucial moments as a teacher. My confidence increased as I knew I had someone to guide me through. Isn’t that we all need. We do make mistakes but we need that “ non- judgemental “ helping hand. I , unfortunately, never Thanked him properly. Yes casually I did . However, I wish I would have expressed my appreciation in more genuine way. Explaining how he helped me. Maybe give him shoutout in front of everyone so my professor would have known that I am grateful and he has a “ start” PHD student. Maybe my professor already knew that but I would have done my part. I owe that much honestly.
I believe , lot of times, I get obsessed about how I feel and what I want to accomplish. And in this “ me drama” I forget all these good people who help me along the way. They don’t expect anything in return. I know they give their time, their efforts, their hard work. I have spend some time in life ruminating about people who have wronged me- but what about those good hearted people because of whom I learned something, I became someone. And I know for certain that there are lot of these people in my life who have played essential part of being “givers” . I wish I will recognize them and I will recognize things that they have done for me. And I wish I will give them shoutout. I will be able to exactly tell them what I am grateful for.
So to all these invisible “ good humans” of mine- Thanks- Sincerely!
Praj101
Jason was probably taller than six feet. He was thin-clean looking- down to earth guy. I don’t remember Jason ever been shabby. He was always in formal attire and had professional attitude. He had very calm persona and he would always talk slowly in a contemplative voice. For first couple of weeks I kind of ignored him and he did the same I guess. The only time we used to share “ Hello , good morning” gestures were during our Friday morning lab meetings. His and my research projects were also different . So there was no connection per say. However, when my other two lab-mates abandoned me, metaphorically, the only person left behind for me ( apart from my professor) to ask for help was Jason.
I started asking help to Jason out of sheer desperation. Jason, can you teach me this part of software? Jason, what’s the next step in data analysis? Jason, can you give me feedback about my outcomes? Questions- so many questions.Thinking back- I was not all that appreciative from my side. Jason would be calmly working on his project and I would just drop my queries right in the middle of it. I was so obsessed with my project. Everyone else and everything else was a blur. Like a good friend, Jason helped. He always helped. He didn’t try to teach me anything more than I asked and he didn’t asked me to figure things out by myself.. He would assist and get back to his work. Jason, occasionally used to give me cues and I would write them down. This went on for atleast couple of months. As time went on , I got comfortable with my work and was able to finish my project and my research in time. Same year when he finished his PhD. He was there at very crucial moments as a teacher. My confidence increased as I knew I had someone to guide me through. Isn’t that we all need. We do make mistakes but we need that “ non- judgemental “ helping hand. I , unfortunately, never Thanked him properly. Yes casually I did . However, I wish I would have expressed my appreciation in more genuine way. Explaining how he helped me. Maybe give him shoutout in front of everyone so my professor would have known that I am grateful and he has a “ start” PHD student. Maybe my professor already knew that but I would have done my part. I owe that much honestly.
I believe , lot of times, I get obsessed about how I feel and what I want to accomplish. And in this “ me drama” I forget all these good people who help me along the way. They don’t expect anything in return. I know they give their time, their efforts, their hard work. I have spend some time in life ruminating about people who have wronged me- but what about those good hearted people because of whom I learned something, I became someone. And I know for certain that there are lot of these people in my life who have played essential part of being “givers” . I wish I will recognize them and I will recognize things that they have done for me. And I wish I will give them shoutout. I will be able to exactly tell them what I am grateful for.
So to all these invisible “ good humans” of mine- Thanks- Sincerely!
Praj101
Sunday, May 5, 2019
Dreams- real deal
Tell me your fuzzy dreams and I will tell you mine
The ones where you cannot reach to the bathroom in time
Once I dreamed about a bald spot in the middle of my hair
Startled- awake - I looked in the mirror with frightened stare
I dreamed once about clothes that I didn’t even had
They were all the shades of blue- well, that made me sad
The One , scariest, that might have got me soaked in fear
In that I was camping in a tent, next to sleeping bear
I had dreamed about places that I have never been before
Steepy roads, caves , mountains and lots of hidden doors
I have dreamed about my school - where I am a forgetful Cham
In those , I missed my math and chemistry exams
Did you ever dream of missing rickshaw, Plane or bus
I didn’t know where I was going- what was the gushing rush
Dreams- they come and go and most of them are strange
Have you tried to remember those that made you feel estranged
I have dreamed people and places in my nostalgic past
Those are the ones that I hold on tight until my sleep last
Once I knew I was in a crazy wild dream, you bet
And I wanted it to continue to see what happens next
I even woke up just to fall back right to sleep
As if I was watching some gripping movie on TV
My dreams - is there any hidden mysterious meaning
Are they colorful or just ‘black and white’ streaming
Do I speak in Marathi, Hindi or English in my dreams
Mysterious, strange, happy , scary, fuzzy- my dreams
Praj101
The ones where you cannot reach to the bathroom in time
Once I dreamed about a bald spot in the middle of my hair
Startled- awake - I looked in the mirror with frightened stare
I dreamed once about clothes that I didn’t even had
They were all the shades of blue- well, that made me sad
The One , scariest, that might have got me soaked in fear
In that I was camping in a tent, next to sleeping bear
I had dreamed about places that I have never been before
Steepy roads, caves , mountains and lots of hidden doors
I have dreamed about my school - where I am a forgetful Cham
In those , I missed my math and chemistry exams
Did you ever dream of missing rickshaw, Plane or bus
I didn’t know where I was going- what was the gushing rush
Dreams- they come and go and most of them are strange
Have you tried to remember those that made you feel estranged
I have dreamed people and places in my nostalgic past
Those are the ones that I hold on tight until my sleep last
Once I knew I was in a crazy wild dream, you bet
And I wanted it to continue to see what happens next
I even woke up just to fall back right to sleep
As if I was watching some gripping movie on TV
My dreams - is there any hidden mysterious meaning
Are they colorful or just ‘black and white’ streaming
Do I speak in Marathi, Hindi or English in my dreams
Mysterious, strange, happy , scary, fuzzy- my dreams
Praj101
Friday, May 3, 2019
Who is perfect here? Nope, it’s not me
Who is perfect here? Nope, it’s not me
Do you have any of those grown on your family tree?
Perfect “this” , perfect “that”, yes that perfect life
An ideal set so high- on an unachievable height
I tried that thing called “perfect impeccable me”
Yet, It’s so hard that perfect thing to be
Slip-ups were not OK in my ideal set-up
A judging noise was saying that I am all messed up
Me trying my best to not make a single mistake
But things just happen you see- as I am not perfect
Flawless big smiles with a faultless fluent speech
A splash of grin on my face to hide my grinding teeth
Me tried my best to avoid any “emotional error”
Bottled up my grudges with rising inside terror
Conflicts were avoided with graceful handshakes
I built walls of niceness just to feel inside safe
Does that how though the whole thing really works?
Do I increase distance from others if I hide my true self?
I tried that trait of being superwoman
Didn’t even last for an entire midlife season
Tried to trade my little and yes big imperfections
They came back marching with fiercely honest vengeance
Well let me tell you this- it’s hard to be flawless
I aspire for better but do I really need to change myself ?
Mistakes are OK I guess- I mature and grow further
And I will make some more of those as I am a lifelong learner
A free bird soaring in the sky -that’s not me - I do slip
I fly little further with occasional bumpy downward dip
Learning - rising - falling - loosing - well, that’s all me
Who is perfect here? - Nope- it’s not me
Praj101
Do you have any of those grown on your family tree?
Perfect “this” , perfect “that”, yes that perfect life
An ideal set so high- on an unachievable height
I tried that thing called “perfect impeccable me”
Yet, It’s so hard that perfect thing to be
Slip-ups were not OK in my ideal set-up
A judging noise was saying that I am all messed up
Me trying my best to not make a single mistake
But things just happen you see- as I am not perfect
Flawless big smiles with a faultless fluent speech
A splash of grin on my face to hide my grinding teeth
Me tried my best to avoid any “emotional error”
Bottled up my grudges with rising inside terror
Conflicts were avoided with graceful handshakes
I built walls of niceness just to feel inside safe
Does that how though the whole thing really works?
Do I increase distance from others if I hide my true self?
I tried that trait of being superwoman
Didn’t even last for an entire midlife season
Tried to trade my little and yes big imperfections
They came back marching with fiercely honest vengeance
Well let me tell you this- it’s hard to be flawless
I aspire for better but do I really need to change myself ?
Mistakes are OK I guess- I mature and grow further
And I will make some more of those as I am a lifelong learner
A free bird soaring in the sky -that’s not me - I do slip
I fly little further with occasional bumpy downward dip
Learning - rising - falling - loosing - well, that’s all me
Who is perfect here? - Nope- it’s not me
Praj101
Wednesday, May 1, 2019
Journey towards 5K
Prepping up for my very first 5K
A trial of “something new” from my side
With unease towards an unfamiliar territory
As running is what I have never really tried
One day out-of-blue, I ran hundred meters
Thumping in the air -awkwardly yet fine
I thought with a glee -Let’s stack it up a little
Lets run the whole long three plus miles
The dread of defeat -What will others think
The baggage of self-shaming hurt inside
Will I show up -run- feel adrenaline rush
Or leave the race without even remotely trying
The fear of failure is deeply in-rooted
Has hindered my path before so many times
If I don’t try - I will fail to feel the joy
Want to face challenge -right way this time
Joining a partner with same aspiring journey
The workouts - the nutrition-the whole package as we speak
Connecting with friends - with nature - with self
I wonder what this adventures experience will teach
Picking up this exciting quest in my life
With small ambitious plan- unknown end effect
Embracing the sweat , the pain and the hard work
With appreciating the delights of journey in itself
-praj101
A trial of “something new” from my side
With unease towards an unfamiliar territory
As running is what I have never really tried
One day out-of-blue, I ran hundred meters
Thumping in the air -awkwardly yet fine
I thought with a glee -Let’s stack it up a little
Lets run the whole long three plus miles
The dread of defeat -What will others think
The baggage of self-shaming hurt inside
Will I show up -run- feel adrenaline rush
Or leave the race without even remotely trying
The fear of failure is deeply in-rooted
Has hindered my path before so many times
If I don’t try - I will fail to feel the joy
Want to face challenge -right way this time
Joining a partner with same aspiring journey
The workouts - the nutrition-the whole package as we speak
Connecting with friends - with nature - with self
I wonder what this adventures experience will teach
Picking up this exciting quest in my life
With small ambitious plan- unknown end effect
Embracing the sweat , the pain and the hard work
With appreciating the delights of journey in itself
-praj101
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