It was not that bad

Bye 

Let’s start what happens next ? 

We will meet for sure 👍 here or in afterlife and I am not going anywhere and so are you.  Yet time is not right .. bye 

Lots of love .. 

friends protect friends ! 

..  is not scared, I am …  and he will adjust and he is kind and forgiving and soft spoken and helps others and extremely intelligent .. ok intelligent .. very much intelligent .  And I have seen him eating food with me in India .. in Riksaw we may travel .  Think we will .. we will and other soul family members  .  Ok .. best friends ! Yes 

Close knit soul family with soul purpose ! 🥰🙏🌎🌳🪸

Well I think yo tell Truth maybe it was for some .. bad .

I am sure for all of us it’s all good in spiritual realm . 

My God is no evil

My God is no evil

My god doesn’t categorize me

As good or bad

Or Right or wrong 

My God will never  

Punish me for bad deeds

My God is pure loving kindness

It’s divine wisdom is encompassing all

It understands

That everyone’s circumstances are different

Everyone comes from different background 

Everyone’s opportunities are different 

Everyone’s challenges are different 

And he therefore never judges me or others 

And then when I ask

What about those sociopaths and psychopaths

Do you love them too 

And my God smiles 

With twinkling mischievous eyes

And says to me 

 “what about you and your mind

Your greed and jealousy 

Your inner negativity ”

And then I know

And I smile back

And this non-judgement 

Makes my God a true diving being of light

 I understand

It’s not him but my own Karma

That creates challenges for me  

That is what I need to focus on 

As I know within my heart 

That Karma is fair and I create it 

And my purpose is 

To achieve purity

Just to nudge closer to my God

A God within 

And a Universal Consciousness 

Of unconditional love 

As it just feels right 

As it just feels liberating 

As it just feels empowering 

As it just feels creative

As it just feels peaceful 

To settle in God’s pure light

Om Shanti

-praj101

Soulful living

 Depth of desires are rushing through 

Yet we try to meditate on balance

Atrocities and celebrations as part of same book

Yet we tore pages by denying one

We refuse ourselves in its imbalanced state

Find spiritual escapes for peaceful  sake

Yet one thing merging with a polarized steam 

As we  don’t like hurtful feelings

Soul calls for facing truths just they are

Dependencies and Independence are both called for

A Saturnian sadness is powerful and equal

Jupitorial joy can equally be dreadful

Hey soul of mine what you are looking for

Is a story filled with emotional richness

A meaningful cast of dead and living

A colorful plot that is steady and moving

A polarity and balance and everything in between

A book with a page turner mystery unfolding 

Perspectives and perceptions and perceived changes 

A soulful stories with authentic  living

-praj101

Complex or Simple - You choose

 Education and degrees 

And all the knowledge that I want

I got it all

And I am ready to serve

I am a medical practitioner 

With passion to heal

And I am looking forward 

To meet and treat and feel 

With evaluations and diagnosis 

I know what I have to do 

And with my treatment plan and reassessments 

I can make miracles too

Yet when I enter real world 

With insurance led processes

I need to document a lot 

And document some more

And I feel my patients

Needs more of this and that

But things become complex  

Systemic confusions to follow that

The whole system needs repair 

With upholding individual perspective 

As each patient is individual 

With its own unique needs

And nurses and CNAs 

And all the medical staff

Have huge difficult responsibilities 

But doesn’t get compensated like that

An underserved staff

Treating complex system it feels

And this system has energies

Of confusion not clarity

So oh dear patient

You stand up for yourself 

You advocate for your family

And what is right for them

You make a stance for justice

And with your own efforts in 

The whole system will change

To more simplified version

As I am a medical practitioner 

And just like me everyone in the field

Who wants to treat you as you

And not some complex system

Love and Light

Praj

Obligation

 You asked me to come and I said yes

I said yes as that is what I am supposed to do 

And then we came and you showed excitement 

Yet a discomfort obligation was seeping through

I went home and called you in few days

And said you come over next Sunday

You said yes and I faked excitement 

As I was returning the favor as I was supposed to

This exchange of favors and Karmic entanglement 

Crazy cycle of obligation continued for  years

An exchange of favors, niceties and expectations  

I am sure it was boring thing equally for you 

Yet we engaged by societal pressure 

To attend those parties weekend after weekend

I wish I stayed home and read my books

You must have missed your creative times too

Such an energy no pleasing to me

And I am sure it was not pleasing to you as well

So let’s stop this waste of energetic exchange

As there are so many better things for both of us to do

Praj101

Lata Ji

Blessed by Roots

And so much grace

You came on earth

To transform music 

And with it 

To transform people

With your soulful voice 

And innate simplicity 

You reached to millions

Not just through your voice 

But also with your character 

That taught us 

How to live with purest intentions

I am sure

You won’t care for a bit 

For this formal glory 

At the end of your time

On earth here

Yet this outpouring of love

That your soul must have felt

Would bring hues of so many deeper connections 

You have made with us here 

With a service like this 

Lata Ji

I am sure 

You are resting In Peace! 

Praj101

Regression

Like a pale decaying leaf

Swirling deep down 

With contemplative agony 

Holding so tight to ground

A sad and mad wind

And even shorter days

A comfort in disharmony 

With its odd whimsical ways 

I stay here for a while

Enjoying  this depressing comfort

A contemplative safety 

In a dry & a dark humor

And once I rest for a Day

Or Months or Years per say 

I grow a little warmer

From colder inner fire

Then blossoms a spring of hope

My soul is ready to explore 

So I sprung out of my shadows 

To reach towards my source

With a swirling swirls of joy

Friendlier hands holding me tight

I don’t even feel shy

In this happy & colorful sight

Yet in midst of these glorious 

Bright and light surroundings

I sense a loss of self

When I step out of my boundaries 

So now it’s time to hibernate

Rest is calling me out

I go back to my inner cave 

As darker just feels right 

This is how cycle circles

With no end in sight

I grow and regress some more 

In these cyclical times! 

Praj101

Where is the soul

With chairs after chairs

And desks after desks 

The dull withered smell 

In Modern office space

No sight of true beauty

A lost aesthetic soul

A placement of plant in the corner 

Yet no warmth-  just cold

there is that dissonant clicking

An energy so ungrounded 

And flashy bold images

virtual world so bounded 

A desperate feeling of stuckness

In a paralyzed life

And where is the soul

Artistically inclined 

We are stroking within

These fuming chemical field 

No sparkle of nature 

No simple organic life

where is our soul 

A deeper connection to places

As we are not enchanted 

Just mechanical in showcases

Where is the soul

A true enchanting experience 

The artists within us

So nurturing and breathing

So where is the soul 

Soul of an artist

Soul of pure breath

Soul of intimate friendships

Soul of fairy lands

Soul of rainy forests

Soul filled with aromas

And earthy magical places

Soul full of love

That grows and glows with laughter

And playful mischievous smiles

dancing graceful heartbeats 

A soul filled with prayers 

A soul filled with gentleness

A soul like a wild wind 

A soul filled with magic 

Praj101

Motherhood

When I close my eyes

I realize 

That I wasted so much time 

Thinking about things 

That are not worth my time

And I feel the need to prioritize 

And kids , my kids is the only thing that comes in mind

As my priority number one

It’s truly a blessing 

With a dash of responsibility 

And a dash of consistent figuring things out

Yet they are here for me

To teach me my lessons

That I will not get from anywhere else

And as my soul becomes fonder 

Filled with absolute love 

And nothing else

I realize that’s how it grows

And though their success or failure will never determine my own self worth 

They themselves are the most beautiful aspect of my life 

So here is cheers to them

Their laugher and love

Their successes and hardships

And I know always in my heart

I will always be their Mommy

And they will always be my little angels

-praj101

Cost of Fashion

 Going on A trip

Or to the party 

Thoughts swirled around

What should I wear

My friends have seen me

In this color and style 

Now it’s time for new set of clothes

Let me go and shop for few

I can’t just wear same as before

My pictures are on social media everywhere

And I don’t want to look so same 

Inner insecurities  make me feel lame 

I shop instead  this lovely dress

Lovely shoes, lovely jacket

And some makeup to go with the whole

Now I feel comfortable and whole

And that’s a truckload of pollution I bring

And some cancer strains for your and my kids

As someone is definitely getting affected by my actions

And as a rule there will be some reaction

Laughing with my friends while partying

Self indulgent and irresponsible is what I am being

I ignore the reality since I can 

Karma is smiling saying maybe in this lifetime 

-praj101 

Oh Self Righteous self

 Oh me and mine

Oh Self righteous self

Are you truly light

As light has no need

To prove itself

My education

My achievements 

My goals and dreams

All can be path

To know higher self

Like a resource of a kind

Yet hey self righteous self

You need to understand

That those that you say 

uneducated, unemployed

In your definition 

Lazy or not kind

Are still divine

Standing in their own light

Figuring there own Karma

And if they are not indulged 

In similar ways as you

Still doesn’t make them 

Any less than you

As in this lifetime

They are experiencing something else

And you may choose a lifetime

Or may have chosen already in the past

That is similar to them

And that does not make you or them -bad or good

These are just experiences

At higher self

We all are divine

And when this nonjudgmental self flows

When this unconditionally shows

In our acts of being

Something much bigger comes along

And that is love

That is kindness

That is strength in unity

That is higher consciousness 

- praj101 ( from the guidance of spirit guides) 

Gossip

 Sitting in a circle

With a group called dear-ones

Speaking from heart

Yet not from soul

A way to feel self

Better than those not there

Speaking with judgement 

About those 

And time has gone

And so is energy 

Behind this 

Idle chatter

Yet,  a karmic implication 

Of each word as vibration

And a lesson of action 

Waiting to reveal

As when we judge

We need to experience 

The similar conditions and situations 

Faced by these

This karmic wheel

Moves on and on

Till we learn 

To be non-judgemental 

Instead, Speak own truth

Infront with transparency 

And that becomes a opinion

Not a gossip 

As gossip is low vibration

Authenticity is high

That’s where an honest & diplomatic

Dialogue starts

A change of game

A change of Karmic pattern

Now alignment starts

To higher dimension

-praj101

Nurtured Soul

The path that is outlined

To get the expected gains

Feels like a drought  

With dry soil without rain 

And things are green for others

That I find withered and bleak 

Yet I set in given direction

In hope to blossom free

Still inner calling exist

Nagging with mental fog

Those Judgements of right and wrong

Where my journey gets blocked

So here I take charge 

To nurture my own land

In my unique ways

I take care of  my flower plants

As a ray of light comes through 

To my soul aligned ways

I see authentic purpose

With crystal clear gaze

Like a nurturing shower 

Falling on my garden bed

Soul feels in its heart

A blossom of playful red

-praj101

And I bounced back

 A deep seated ache 

An energetic confrontation 

And I got side tracked

In lower dimensions 

Heart knew need a change 

From negative thought process

Yet hard to deny and hide

Such unresolved messes

So I got my running shoes

Put my music on

Did some side stretches

And anger was slowly gone

It started with self comfort

How I was right and other is wrong

And I recited so many times

What could have gone wrong

Then I kind of got bored

Of self victimization talk

As music was still buzzing 

And oxygen was gushing on

Running did just wonders

A bounce back from gloomy times

Music helped to elevate 

Just what feels right

Staying upset is exhausting 

When you are doing jumping jacks

And weight of pain has to go

While lifting 10 lbs with squats

With smile, strength and sweat 

I know at the end of it all 

Maybe I will try Vinayasa Flow

Next time when my vibes fall

Praj101

Does God’s Fury exist?

I remember one story I read on “ Shravani Somvar” or some religious booklet  years back when my MIL said that’s the custom. This religious story was about a woman who had to say repeatedly “ I am not favorite of my in-laws so God please make me favorite”.  Even while saying such self deprecating thing again and again on name of God I was cringing and yet continued because it was I thought religious matter and I better not break any rituals in fear of God’s fury.. or so I was being told. That was then when immature, submissive and fearful part of me did whatever is needed in the name of avoiding “ God’s fury”. I personally feel such are actually psychological manipulations created and perpetuated for benefit of some and sacrifice of others.

There are so many such believes and customs that I don’t agree with. Lot of times woman and for that matter man as well but especially woman gets an advice to “be nice”, to do things for others even if she has to give up her own mental clarity and calm. Being responsible is one thing and participating in other people’s dysfunctional beliefs is other. There is this innate need to pretend “a perfect family”. Some ideal vision that is far from reality. And then with that comes a judgement. A person being so strict/ perfectionist on self expects the same from others. Or even worse, a person with so much imperfection expecting perfections from others.  Society is complicated with so many elements working together that complete harmony is almost impossible. People including me forget that we have polarities within us and all emotions are valid. There is nothing wrong to make mistakes , to get angry, sad etc. I feel what we do with that emotion is more important. If we have to stand up for injustice ( that we perceive) we sometimes have to raise voice. We have to take fury or discomfort of others in return for what we stand. It’s one thing to wish compassion, happiness and unconditional love for everyone and is entirely another thing to have “moral agendas” on the name of achieving these. I feel that it is upon us to pick and choose what is right for us. After all, We have the “ free-will”.

Sometimes injustice walks on in a very subtle way. There are people in the world who drain our energy knowingly. They thrive on manipulation and confusion. Tomorrow if one such person is someone that in societies eyes One of us should respect and obey even if this person is causing much harm to our mental peace then obeying such person out of fear or submissiveness is actually going away from divinity. Standing up for what we feel is right and being rebellious at times if needed is the need of a soul. It’s a learning of a soul. Once we start weeding out things and for that matter people that are not right for us we are making more room for things and people that are right for us. It’s not that we are questioning and judging others , it’s more that we are taking out fear or any such disharmonious energy from within us. This is what a polarity of destruction is (what God Shankar represents in my opinion ). To create harmony we have to deal with disharmony. To create peace, we have to embrace anger. To create love , we have to recognize things that do not represent love and introspect on what needs to be done. 

God, in my own perception Of course, doesn’t want us to just recite religious mantras and use religion as escapism. Honestly, I feel God loves us just the way we are without any judgement whatsoever. But the whole point of physical incarnation is to take action. With action we create Karma.. And even with inaction we create Karma ..

God’s fury in my humble opinion doesn’t exist. There is no right or wrong way. There is just a way . We have to choose which one to take and yes there will be consequences.  We will eventually learn from our experiences and may go towards more Just society.  But that will happen without any judgement or fury from God!

Praj101

Vision board

Got my vision

Got my board

Magazine cutouts

And a pen-paper-words

Garden of blooms

And a family on Cruise 

A mediation hall

With Sound Therapy tools

A female entrepreneur 

With a strong earthy hold

And a lady working out

With eyes so bold

A sweet family picture

Happy faces with smile

And outpouring blessings 

From a Temple of Divine

Empowering words

Nudging me to action

Encouraging images

Vision of perfection

-praj101 

Meditation Binge

 The fault of poor habits 

Leading to chaotic times

When I binged watch Netflix 

And had sleepless nights 

On top of that I carried guilt

And headache with pressure tight 

And never learned a lesson

To you know “act right” 

Yet an Angel called on the other day

“Free Will-use it as you wish” she said

Burden of judgement was suddenly gone

And somehow that took away Netflix charm

So I started to meditate as that feels like a challenge

First was just me and my monkey mind

But as I stayed as if Binging on meditation

OMG so many enigmatic things I find

Akashic records are the best of these treasures 

Keepers of the light are always on my side

Crystal healing and Reiki give uplifting push

And best part is channeling my own spirit guides

Love and light and universal connection 

Exploring these dimensions from within

A mystery after mystery and not even fiction 

Meditation is so much better than  Netflix times

Never thought spirituality can also be “thrilling”

A  ladder to go close to my own inner radiance

And connecting the dots to understand self at soul level

Becoming a detective to find divine gradients

-praj101

Relationships

I am for joy

I am for support

I am for learning

I am for letting go

I am long term

I am just for a while

I am abusive 

Just not right

I am experiential 

As it is

I am for togetherness 

To support in need

I am for give

I am for take

I am more balanced

As that’s all it takes

I am under pressure

Ready to be free

I am like a mirror

To show authentically 

I am just pure luck

Free will makes beautiful tweet

I am here with no judgement 

Unconditional love makes it sweet

- praj101

Release

Plucking all the weeds from the garden this morning 

A sudden realizations came in sight

A little-big insecurities within and beyond

Those molds so old withholding my pride

An edge becomes rough and I become tough

And hot lava comes from somewhere inside

Drama comes with a trauma out of step

Still put the best foot forward says the tribe

Expectations hold like weeds stopping wheels 

Growth comes to halt as friction slowly grows

Some of these traits I hire from past

Ancestral DNA and experiences that lasts

Paternal and maternal patterns come in play

Societal etiquettes help to mold me this way

Friends do vibe and resonance develop

Yet most are vibrating at the same frequency as mine

So here I release all that is not serving

To be free from weeds that are holding me tight

I release one by one those over scrupulous dramas 

I release those ancestral patterns and karmas

All that is not what is right and whole

I let go and I release some more

The strains of perfections I release them too

I release expectations that are not fit to grow

The lies and the chunks of moralities in them

I release those things with no authentic play

Suppression of voice- I release that too

I do my song with my own tune

I release and relax and feel so light

No friction inside to hold me back from my flight

I release to make space for what I feel is right

 I reconstruct myself to be whole with delight 

- praj101

Shadow self

Sometimes I laugh when everyone is laughing

Or talk fast to chime with others

I hide my vulnerability with a guilt inside

And show interest  to appear attentive 

And that’s all pretending... I know for sure

But it just feels little safe at that moment

And so life goes on in a shadow

Without feeling all that great

What is your shadow self

Is it being that party joker 

To make sure no one knows

You have a side that is broken

Or is it being sarcastic and edgy

While inside you are very shy

And you want to appear strong and tough

As your soft self has made you cry

Or you acting real smart

Covering your weakness by being bold

Or do you act dumb just to blend in

So you can be with popular bunch

The light of pretense will drain energies 

It’s invigorating to be just you.. you know 

Feel all the good and bad of self

Removing shadow makes you complete so you can grow 

Praj101